Saturday 30 January 2016

THE CHRISTIAN KING

THE CHRISTIAN KING


Ezenmo sat forlorn , head cupped in hands as he pondered the latest answer received from the gods.
He was just a messenger , of the gods to the people . His people .The people say “The messenger does no wrong : his was to transmit”.
However , his hands trembled as he thought of meeting the Eselu III or the Queen Mother . Aagh , the gods. How would he dress his countenance as he delivered this stupefying news ?
Hmmn. He sighed deeply . Yet again . He had been sighing all morning.
Thrice this week he had divined. Thrice the same answer .He resolved to try once more on the last of the four- day Igbo week ; Eke , Orie , Afor , Nkwo .Yes , he would try again on Nkwo. Who knows ? Maybe the gods were just thirsty . He took a huge sip from the Schnapps bottle , and spat across the mini wooden statuettes on the floor. “That one is for you , oh great gods”, he said. He now stood up and slowly walked to the bushes behind for some herbs to administer to a sick little boy as promised the mother.
Nebede was a smallish village comprising five hamlets of Ubi , Kene , Nlo , Nume , and Solam . The hamlets shared common streams , a market and a King.
The last King had been the Eselu II. He was late now and resting with the Ancestors . Nebede had been a very peaceful village until recently .There were few deaths and illnesses recorded till this year . This year when the Eselu II left to join the Ancestors . This year when the newly selected Eselu III was to be crowned.
Ezenmo was the Chief Priest of the Nogba shrine . The shrine housed the big wooden statue of a sitting , cherubic male , which represented the Nogba god . He it was who determined destinies , he decreed which path one’s life will take or what spouse one would end up with . He presided over the number of off springs one would have , the size of goats in his yard and yams in his barn . He determined which maidens will be skinny and which voluptuous . Ezenmo had remarked to himself that the Nogba must be tired of the voluptuous ones as none could be seen lately in the village . Ezenmo had in his capacity as Intercessor between the villagers and the Nogba , strived to remedy this anomaly by quickly appeasing the Nogba then with a big Hen and copious local gin sprayed liberally around the statue.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
The shrine also contained five other smaller statuettes . One for each hamlet . They were lesser gods than the Nogba , and were in his service . They served as monitors for the Nogba on each hamlet in the village .The villagers made annual offerings to the Nogba and then during routine visits to the shrine on sundry problems brought cash , foodstuffs , and drinks to appease and to offer in supplication for their myriads of needs . Sometimes too they were broke and couldn’t afford much for the gods . In such cases they offered to cut the bushes around the shrine or helped to repair the thatched roofs . These were usually done by the men . For the women who couldn’t afford such fees for the gods , they fetched water from the streams and scrubbed the walls , floor of the Nogba shrine . Ezenmo being a kind hearted Intercessor also offered help to the lazier ones who didn’t want to wash or scrub . Some of the more robust variety regularly walked with Ezenmo into the nearby bushes . Many a loincloth had been urgently discarded in the pressing need to appease the gods through other forms of payment , collected on their behalf by Ezenmo . There had been reports of heavy breathing and sudden movements in the bushes adjourning the shrine , by returnees from the far Ujonu stream , whose route was close by .
Once when the stories were so rife , the late Eselu II organized the hunters , who were led by Ezenmo to chase away whatever wild beasts creating the disturbances . No animal was caught and Ezenmo was seen chanting incantations at the site , thereafter declaring the area safe . The reports though reduced , still persisted about strange activity in those bushes at intervals .
Ezenmo wasn’t bothered by mere mortals and their stories . Him who belonged to the gods . Yes , chosen by the gods to succeed his father . His father , the former Ezenmo , whom it had been said , traded riddles and proverbs with gods and spirits . Out of his seven sons , he the last , had been chosen by the gods . Father had often remarked that he was different from the rest . From when he had run an errand for Mother to the shrine to see Father . While he waited for the then Ezenmo , he had seen a tortoise , walking backwards into the bushes on its hind legs . His widened mouth was struck soundless , as yet a four-headed snake bade him farewell as it slithered into the bushes . Once too , as the Elders poured libation on the ground and invited the ancestors to drink , he had seen weird little men with contorted skin appear in their tens , backs bent with little cups in hand . He had fainted and had been carried home . When he later regaled his family with the tale of what he had seen , all had been scared stiff. No one else had seen anything and all seven strong boys had slept at the foot of Mother’s bed that night . To protect her from the little men with bent backs and tiny cups , they had claimed but all their legs shook and quite a few urine drops stained the various loincloths as none dared to go to the latrine to relieve themselves , and none would stoop so low as to ask for an escort , so as not to be labelled ‘coward’ . A man could be anything but Coward in Nebede . Even thieves had more honour in Nebede than one known as cowardly . The women composed derisive songs with their names which the children danced to at festivals and moonlight dances .                                                           
Father though had smiled after he heard the story and kept nodding long into the night . At midnight he had poured copious libations and thanked the gods that they had made a choice . His voice as he communed with the gods carried on the night air through the window in Mother’s room .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
All wondered whom the choice was or when it had been made . None of them had ever been around when gods made choices so they thought little of it and went to sleep .
Today , after fifteen years , the choice was now a full-fledged Ezenmo and was revered the length and breadth of the five hamlets and neighbouring villages . Ezenmo indeed had blossomed and could be said to have surpassed his Father in wealth and acquisitions . His barns were well stocked with yams and his livestock were highly priced .
All these however did little to placate Ezenmo’s mood as he emerged from his brief reverie . The recent spate of deaths and illnesses only put a seal to the results obtained after three days of divination . The gods had answered in one voice . Just three days before the activation of the newly chosen King , Eselu III’s reign . Only three nights before the dance of the young maidens . Hmmmn . He sighed deeply once more and searched frantically for his tobacco box . He hurriedly stuffed his nostrils and waited for the effect to hit .
The soothing sensation though did little to appease his restless mind . The Nogba , as confirmed by the lesser gods had said that an Impostor was at the throne ! Eselu III to the best of Ezenmo’s knowledge , was a bonafide son of Eselu II and the Queen Mother . Since his selection however , eight people had lost their lives in one week in the village . “Tufia” , Ezenmo exclaimed .
To complete the rites , Eselu III was required to pick a second wife during the dance of the young maidens . The King was mandated to have two Queens as laid down by the Ancestors . However , the highest rite was the “Mkpuchi Azuala” . The new King was required to proceed to an area of semi – swamp features , in an enclosure of bamboo trees , alone . There , he would remove the last wrapper hung there by the last deceased King and dress the clearing in his own wrapper . The clearing within the enclosure known as “Azuala” , was inhabited by a female Deity . Ezenmo had only been summoned there once and had marveled at the impeccable state of the late Eselu II’s wrapper hung there. It was impossible to fathom how it had retained its new look after almost thirty years of being exposed to the elements . Azuala’s frontage was always well swept and clean . It was said that the Deity could be heard sweeping at dawn on quiet mornings .
                                                                                                                                                                       
The Deity was known to have struck two fierce claimants to the throne dead at one time . Her method of execution was with thunderbolts . No other mortal dared to go into the Azuala , unless he had been chosen King and confirmed by the Nogba or summoned . Therein lay Ezenmo’s dilemma . The new King must go to Azuala in three days . This King had however been rejected by the Nogba .He dared not step into the Azuala . The Deity would strike. The Deity’s strike had been known to separate a man and his footwear in opposite directions to one another . The corpse had been retrieved from the village stream whilst the footwear had flown through the air to the village Primary School field.
Ezenmo now waited on the result of his divination planned for the fourth day of the Igbo week , Nkwo before going up to the Queen Mother and the Eselu III . Herb in hand , he closed the shrine frontage by hanging two pleated palm fronts . The sick boy’s residence was across his path home and he made his way slowly, lost in thought at what lay ahead .
He couldn’t even dare to appease the Nogba at a time like this , for it was already upset and had allowed the deaths of its villagers in such unnatural patterns . Never before had two people died on following days .Ezenmo felt the dark clouds gathering . He wondered aloud whether the new King will still be King after the coming three days .
Impostor , as the Nogba had said about the Eselu III , who was this man? How would the village react ? What of the King ? Would he abdicate ? Would he run away , never to return ? Hmmmn . “We could have new songs for the children by the next moon” , Ezenmo thought to himself as he passed the little square , venue of the moonlight dances .
                                                                                                   




Our people say “he whom the gods want to kill , they first make mad” . Ezenmo had experienced bad days before and then he had experienced today . The fourth day of the Igbo week . Nkwo day .
Ezenmo had divined early in the morning . The answer was stark and the same . However this time there was also a caveat , “if the impostor wants peace for Nebede village , he must leave that stool immediately”. The gods had withdrawn their smiles . Ezenmo must move now to save the day or be filled with regrets . His legs seemed full of lead as he made his way to the palace . His legs inching their way gradually towards the gates . He was the one to bear the news , to break the revered “Aki Oyinbo Nsugbe” to the Queen and her Son . Let them hear the message as received from the gods , warts and all . There would be no embellishments nor deductions . Ezenmo knew it was time for normalcy to return . For the death rate to decline once more and for the people and their gods to be on the same page again .

Ezenmo spent six hours with the Queen Mother . At first she had tried to rebuff Ezenmo . She had tried to cast doubt on the words of the gods . Ezenmo had then reminded her of the calamities that would happen if custom was not allowed to prevail .

She broke . The tears gushed freely and the story was revealed as her tongue lost its stinginess and began relating all that had transpired . Ezenmo as an intercessor between the villagers and their gods had seen humans at their worst moments . The Queen mother’s face was etched with severe pain as she spoke . Ezenmo had yet to see such pain in one person before .Deep pain , regret dripped from her voice as her face aged visibly within minutes .

She had been the Eselu II’s second Queen . The first Queen bore him six females , while she bore him seven females . The required heir eluded them all . And so once on a visit to her Mother’s village of Fanma , she was told of a recent cleric whom claimed he could give aspiring couples , babies , complete with the gender of their choosing.                                                                                                                                                                               

Her visit to the Cleric was uneventful , except that she woke up in the cleric’s chamber with a moist feeling in her parts . Till date she hadn’t known or sought divination to confirm the father; the King or the Cleric . She only knew of her happiness at conceiving a male child as confirmed by diviners then . Fortunately Eselu II claimed the boy’s complexion at birth bore resemblance from his grand aunt’s lineage . She had always felt huge remorse , but it was tempered by the huge celebrations in the whole Nebede that carried on for weeks . She never had need to confess before or tell her son that there was a possibility he was sired from her visit to the Cleric . Ezenmo consoled her and then had an enlarged meeting with the Queen Mother and her son .

The son couldn’t believe his ears . The Eselu III whom was only two nights away from presiding as King over all of Nebede . It was hard work explaining to him the links with the current deaths in the village . Once his rage subsided , he began to cry . Those deep sobs that escape a man’s breast , as if his heart had been pried open with a pair of pliers .

He then had to tell his own wife , Lady Gertrude .She took it the hardest . Three days to go from being Gertrude to the First Lady of Nebede . To be addressed , Her Highness , The Queen . It took several hours to convince her to go away with him and the Queen Mother .
                                                                                                                              
It was also agreed that Ezenmo would allow a full day to pass before briefing the Kingmakers , and instructing them to commence the selection process afresh . They would now instruct the town crier , whom would go round the five hamlets with his gong at dawn , to announce the Eselu III will not be crowned anymore and the dance of the young maidens will be postponed till the next selection process concluded .

So at dawn the next day , Ezenmo returned to the palace . He sat at the Verandah and waited . The son was already washed and dressed . He that would have been King . The women even though travelling under a sombre cloud , took forever to be ready . The son sat with Ezenmo in the silence . They silently acknowledged each other and the weights they individually bore on their shoulders . In another life they could have been two friends sitting together and watching the Sunrise . In this life though , they were two men sitting and marveling at their patience and infinite capacity to wait for their women to dress up.

After they were gone and the palace locked , with the attendants sent home ; Ezenmo summoned the Kingmakers . He informed them that there would be no crowning of the Eselu III and no maiden dance as the Queen Mother had left the palace with the son and wife in tow .
                                                                                                                                                                                        
He explained that the son while studying in the city , had taken up the “Christian Religion” , and so was a Christian King ; a reluctant King . He wouldn’t pick a second wife or engage in the Azuala rituals , as the church in Rome would forbid him from their “Blessed Sacrament” and may even ex-communicate . As a Christian also , he couldn’t make libations to the gods or ancestors . That a Christian King would not serve Nebede’s interests and so he had left. Therefore , they were to commence the selection process once more .

The room was silent .The Ten Kingmakers were shocked .They only asked Ezenmo if the Nogba had sanctioned it , and upon his answer in the affirmative , accepted it .After the customary round of drinks , they all departed .
At dawn the next day , before even the cock crowed , it was the town crier that woke Ezenmo ;”PEOPLE OF NEBEDE , I GREET YOU . YOUR SON , THE SELECTED ESELU III , WILL NO LONGER BE CROWNED AS HE HAS RETURNED TO THE CITY TO LOOK AFTER HIS SACRAMENTS . A NEW SELECTION SHALL BE MADE LATER .THE MAIDEN DANCE IS ALSO POSTPONED FOR NOW” !

Ezenmo sat up. “Sacraments”? From the window he could hear a youth explaining to the Mother that Sacraments were a new kind of apartments in vogue in the city currently . Ezenmo shook his head .He didn’t blame the town crier though , for as our people say “the messenger does no wrong” . His was just to transmit .


THE END.

Wabara Nnamdi, 2016.

Friday 1 January 2016

Journey To Savour

I’ve just arrived at this bus terminal in an eastern town. I’m on my way to Lagos State. Aagh, Lagos. They say it never sleeps. With all the lovely shops and colorful taxis. I’m clad in some recent purchase, a new sweat shirt and lovely jeans. I’m feeling expensive. I’m travelling with a small bag and a medium-sized ‘ghana-must-go’ (a tote bag). The attendants at the booth ask for a tip to load the ‘ghana-must-go’. On meeting their request, their ‘thank you’ is very subdued. They must have budgeted for a lot more.

I got into the bus. I had bought my ticket the day before. Seat no.5. A window seat. I always go for window seats. That way, I can view the scenery outside as we drive past. Most of all, I control the opening or closing of the window. That checks any unforeseen catarrh or cold. Nice idea, don’t you think? Haha.

The bus is on its way. There’s a man standing on the gangway. He’s holding a megaphone. In a luxury bus? Is this happening?’Praiseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the Lord’. Hallelujah. Oh no. Not so loud. “All the children of the living God inside this bus, praiseeeeeeeeehseeeee the Lord”. ‘Hallelujah’ is the deafening reply.

I turn to my window and look outside. Problem is, nobody cares about the next man when it comes to issues of religion. How can you use a megaphone inside an air-conditioned bus? Isn’t that a definite sign of lunacy? Mr preacher has noticed my reluctance at joining the chorus of his verses. He starts casting out minions of darkness ‘in this bus’. He calls them agents of Lucifer, witches and wizards, mermaids and tortoises. He comes next to my seat, and starts a chorus, which he insists every child of God must join in. Me, give in to cheap blackmail? I bury my face in my newspaper. Haha. Agent of Lucifer confirmed. The rest of his preaching, with megaphone and all, is hurled at my seat. I have to check my auditory nerves on my return.

Preaching is over. He says he is about to drop off the bus. He passes envelopes to all the passengers. Me (agent me) included. Guess money from a child of God and any other, it’s all money, right? I refuse to collect his envelope. He mumbles under his breadth about stingy ritualists. Hehehe.

Next off, is an itinerant drug seller. A mobile pharmacy. He says he has a drug for those who can’t engage in a 10-round sexual bout. He has a special drug for Staphylococcus, gonococcus and all other coccuses. Even the inner caucus. Registration number? It’s on the way, he claimed.

At our stop in Delta State, we all come down. I don’t usually eat on my travels, so I’m drinking my water and digging into my paper when my seatmate asks me to hold her novel, she wanted to relieve herself. A man sitting behind noticed this and comes to warn me. He says most women one sees in buses are agents (guess there are just too many agents in this country). He shares his cousin’s experience.
The cousin was a student. He had lost his mum. He went to see their elder brother in Lagos State. The brother gave him N200,000 to go back to the village and start making arrangements, that he’ll be on his way the next week. The guy boards a night bus. His seat was at the extreme. His seatmate was a young lady. Along the way, still in Lagos, they start fondling themselves. Somehow, she drugged him or so he said. The guy awoke in the town of Onitsha. He started looking for his seatmate frantically, whom had dropped at the tollgate in Lagos. He even had a new seatmate. All he had left was N1000, which he had kept separate. So, lets say he fondled this babe for N200,000, but got a discount of a thousand Naira. Hehehe. Wonders.

I’m putting on a straight face by the time my seatmate returns. Even when she wants me to buy sausage roll through the window at our next stop in Ore Town, I collect the money without looking at her. Sorry sis, but they’ve got us believing there’s terror everywhere. You could be duped, drugged or even made to disappear.
Ahh, we’re now in Lagos City. Fear of the known and unknown makes everybody board taxis, rather than buses. You could be robbed and thrown out of buses. Oh dear, when will one be able to close his eyes in this city? To borrow a cliché from Ben Okri, ‘that’s a riddle for the gods’.

Nnamdi Wabara.

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